


crown of blood

by alongwinter



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Gen, HYDRA!reader, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 05:01:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18161786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alongwinter/pseuds/alongwinter
Summary: “Let me tell you what I am: scales and gills and smiles made of sharp teeth, sharp teeth, sharp teeth”Or, Bucky always compared you to an angel, gifted with soft eyes and a golden halo. But this betrayal stings like barbed wires and lightning strikes, and he wants to loathe you.





	crown of blood

**Author's Note:**

> this lil blip of sadness is unnecessary imo but i’m trying to get back in the swing of things after a long hiatus of writing so its short. pls go easy on me, pals. i’m a little nervous since its been over a year, i think, since i last posted, so if anyone wants to leave constructive criticism, i definitely won’t say no to that. enjoy!

You had seen him fractured after the fall of Shield and Hydra alike, and you’d been tasked with taping him back together. In the beginning, the bond between you both was flimsy, weak. The bond between both halves of himself, more so. Mentally, he was struggling beyond your capabilities as the adhesive wore off with age and resistance. His heart was nothing but two steel plates held together with useless wrapping tape, daring to burst apart. However, nothing… nothing could compare to this.

He was your charge, who eventually became your person. Bucky was the other half of you, all the broken pieces of the torment and terror wrapped into one. You weren’t supposed to love him, but you did. A part of you knew it was inevitable, but you fought it in the beginning. It never would have worked out, but you took a chance. That chance, however, was crumbling before your eyes.

You watched now as Bucky cracked down the middle like a country torn apart by earthquakes, the plates shifting until the sea of emotions caved inside him, filling his empty spots with droplets of betrayal and heartache. You watched helplessly, guiltily, as he fell apart before your eyes.

“Y-you’re Hydra?” He spits at you, venomous words foaming at his mouth in defense of himself.

“Was… was Hydra. They don’t exist anymore,” you corrected, sounding arrogant in spite of yourself and the fear you were experiencing.

Your entire relationship with the man was an illusion. The lies festered in the back of your mind for years, words on the tip of your tongue unable to take the leap. So you lived in secrecy, forced to hide parts of yourself from Bucky. The intimacy, the connection, the love were torched the longer you hid yourself away. Bucky couldn’t see past the truth, that you were forced, that you didn’t have a choice.

You were cold, he knew this, but you never got to pick sides, or decide what was right versus wrong. Unlike him, you didn’t have a best friend to pull you out of the depths of hell. You were left to burn. He couldn’t recognize that.

The honesty in your eyes was raw and festered as you yelled, told him it wasn’t the way he thought it was, “Bucky, you don’t understand. I didn’t have a choice.”

He laughed, raw and broken, “Actually, you had one choice. To tell me. Multiple times over the past, oh, seven years.”

“It’s not that simple!” You shrieked, hysterical with frustration. You wanted to shake him, grab his large shoulders and shove until he saw what you saw – a good person in a bad situation.

He scoffed at you like a petulant child, not willing to even give you the benefit of the doubt. After so long with him, the sting of his quick judgment was harsh against your skin. The fury clouded your vision, throwing you off balance and filing you with a bone-deep chill. Your legs begged to move, so you let them, not knowing what you would do.

Advancing towards him, you gasped as his left arm shot out, grasping your neck in his fingers, the plates shifting and pinching at your skin. Your hands shot up, wrapping around his wrist as you choked, eyes pleading for him to let go beneath your stubborn exterior. Part of you was okay with this, was rearing for a fight. You both wanted to hurt each other, to mask the emotional pain with something more physical. Bucky was broken and toxic, as were you, both too scorched on the inside to ever make room for something as childish as love.

Momentarily, he squeezed with cold eyes and an even colder heart. Eyes darting back and forth between yours, he sighed and loosened his grip. Bucky pushed you back and out of his space, watching with his lip curled in fury as you fell to the floor before him. He turned away from you, hands running through his hair as you grasped at your neck, coughing from the sudden return of air.

“Stay the fuck away from me,” he pleaded, broken and cracked voice once again, “I mean it.”

He turned toward the door, his body vibrating in anger. It wasn’t fair, the total dismissal he threw at you. Bucky wouldn’t even attempt to listen, to understand your side. It was infuriating, the hurt and the betrayal you felt. Double standards flew through your mind as you watched him move towards the door. You needed to make him see.

Suddenly growing cold and collected, your cracked voice stopped him short as you stood, “You think you’re fixed. You think that because the words they put in you are gone that you’re a good man.”

You laughed, walking closer as the white-hot rage took over your body. He was still, posture froze as your chest met his back, arms wrapping and interlacing over his cold heart.

“You think we’re so different, just because you had help getting out,” you whispered, nails digging into his skin, “I had no one, I had nothing. You had an entire team of people bending over backward for you, to see you free from the chains, because one little man cared about you.”

He sneered but stayed still.

“You will never truly be free. That book, their control, they may be gone, but the memories, the things you’ve done? Those tentacles will always be wrapped around your dark heart. Just like they are wrapped around mine,” you tisked. “You aren’t so righteous, after all.”

Bucky snarled like a wolf, ripping your arms off and away from him, leaving bleeding scratches across his chest. He barreled toward the door like a man on a mission, and you knew, despite everything, that you’d won. You’d lost it all, but the revenge curled dormant in your belly like a stated dragon. It was time to leave.


End file.
